the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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