I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
