Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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