literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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