Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
