I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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