We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize