I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
