so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize