Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
