he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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