I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize