xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
