tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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