The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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