we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
babies were throwing up all over the place
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
