people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize