You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
