In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
