So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize