Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
