Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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