i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
