Nicole vs. Life
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My Sexting was not on an AP level
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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