I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
