I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i can't believe i had my finger in that
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
