i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
