no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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