My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
