I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i think my cat just said my name.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize