Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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