May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize