he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
