considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
