I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
