Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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