Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
