Buhtt sex?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
