K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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