I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
