he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
