her vagine was all disorganized.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
