Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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