Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
