If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
