Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
