dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
