The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
