"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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