well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
