Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
