In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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