Having a random hookup so left but love u
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
