just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
