the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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