Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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