Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
