you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
