Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm getting married
To pizza
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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