She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
