I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
