I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
